New edition of ASOIAF where all the moms who died in childbirth instead die in skateboarding accidents. Dalla does a sick (but ill-fated) flip off the Wall. Joanna makes the classic beginner’s mistake of trying to do an ollie on top of Casterly Rock. (Tywin and Cersei still blame infant Tyrion, because “she wouldn’t have needed skateboarding if you weren’t a dwarf.”) Rhaella tries to prove that you can skateboard in the ocean. Lyanna and Ashara die in the same skateboard competition due to faulty ramp construction, but it’s covered up by Rhaegar’s friends because he built the ramp and they didn’t want to tarnish his memory.
“Ladies die getting sick air. No one sings songs about them.”
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Published
A Middleground 