roachpatrol:

stanzicapparatireplayers:

roachpatrol:

do the hogwarts cafeteria tables have a restriction on who’s allowed to get coffee? i want to believe there’s safety measures in place to make sure ravenclaws don’t get a six cups a day habit before they hit puberty but this is a school that encourages its students to play high-speed flying murderball so 

…that begs other really interesting, equally important questions, such as: what about dietary restrictions? What about food allergies? Do the house elves make sure that no kid gets exposed to something that’d kill them? Are all the sausages at a table with a kid who’s Jewish or Muslim made of beef (or lamb) instead of containing pork? Are there elves watching the tables, doing rapid-fire food substitutions to make sure none of the kids eats something that’ll make them sick or violate their cultural mores?

And what about the kids who need coffee, because they haven’t figured out yet that certain potions are a better substitute for what the caffeine does to help slow their mind down and give them back the ability to focus?

I need a fic on this now, and I’m pretty sure there are none, this is terrible

there’s a trend on tumblr to imagine all the personal accommodations the wizarding world might make for students, but hogwarts is a terrible place. it’s fucking terrible. i don’t know why so many people have forgotten this crucial element of the series. 

like. the house elves are slaves, the potions teacher has free reign to traumatize preteens and was an active member of a terrorist organization in his youth, students receive tons of injuries from murderball as well as all the other crazy shit they’re allowed to do to each other, like there’s a dueling association!!, dumbledore locks an unmarked door with a gigantic man-eating dog with a spell an eleven year old can cast. because he invited magic hitler to teach self defense for a year. the stairs randomly change directions and there’s no ramps. a man with no teaching experience whatsoever got to procure a whole bunch of deadly monsters and force 13 year olds to pet them. and the ghost of a kid who was murdered by teenage magic hitler is trapped in a girl’s bathroom to cry forever because of this school’s almost entirely unresolved history of minority discrimination. 

i think if anthony goldstein, the one single jewish kid unfortunate enough to go to wizard hell school, wanted to keep kosher he would have had to do it himself. i think if you need special accommodation at hogwarts you can just basically go fuck yourself. i think if you want anyone to respect your cultural traditions at hogwarts you can probably double go fuck yourself. hogwarts is a place where generations of witches and wizards have lived and learned and grown up. it’s also a place where a whole lot of kids have died.